fighter

Fighting through the fog..

Favim_com-18493So this weekend I was able to reflect on many things and reflect I did…Unfortunately I was admitted to the hospital on Saturday. I have battled fibromalaygia for 7 years and often the chronic pain I experience is unbearable! I am always in pain, however some days, I have what is referred to as a flare. My children often push me to go to the ER on my  worst days and this weekend I obliged…even though I knew it would not be pretty…My intense pain is always met with a shot…in my hip.  Its not fun as you can imagine, but I have pushed through for many years.

This weekend, I felt different…the doctor informed me that I would be staying over night, because my blood pressure was low. Needless to say over night, turned into a weekend and I reflected….Although I often keep my struggles private…I  have learned that crosses can not be beared alone and as I sat in the hospital bed…several reminders were dropped into my spirit.

I thought back over my life, my journey, my accomplishments and I was reminded about all I have given and done for others over my time here on earth…its been too much too count. I was reminded that I must take a little more time for me..I was reminded that I was expendable and also informed that I was not getting any younger. Reminded that some things are not that important and that some people are very important!

Reminded that I must not continue to give until I am depleted…My 2015 resolution was once again dicphered and I analyzed it well.   I fought through the fog of fibro and will continue to fight…

I was thankful for the family and friends who checked up on me.. the ones who reminded me of all the “reminders” I often forget about,,,grateful for the texts and phone calls.

This post is simply a reminder to each of you that life is simply what you make it…live it and live it well, beacuse you only have one and that “one” is valued by many.

Peace, Love & Empowerment

Steph

http://www.I-Speak-Female.com

http://www.virtuousvibes.com

When Your Worst Is Really Your Best

I always seem to forget how truly amazing I can be. I’m sure you all do the same. It’s so easy to feel the pain and fatigue deep in your bones and lose sight of how strong you really are.

Today was a pretty typical day. Worked last night (pediatric respiratory therapist) and dragged butt all night long. Gave report this morning semi-coherent thanks to a ridiculous amount of caffeine. Had to stay over for an educational inservice on new equipment. Went home and fought to sleep, even though I was exhausted, due to my pain level and running brain. Finally fell asleep, hallelujah!

Got up and then immediately started mommy world. I had to get snacks, go to the potty with the kids, referee arguments, soothe stubbed toes and hurt feelings, teach the fine art of sharing, and work out a “what show will be watch” compromise. Thank god (and my in-laws!) for my Keurig! Even so, I had that bone-deep fatigue that gnaws at you.

Everyone started coming home/to visit/to spend the night and my house went from zoo to Grand Central Station noise level. I can’t handle that as well as I used to. With fibro, I get more overstimulated than a sugared-up three year old at DisneyWorld. My pain increased, fatigue increased, and irritation increased.

Add to that chaos cooking dinner, kid bath time, and the overtired kiddos becoming more and more whiny with each passing second. I was pretty much feeling the same way. Finally got the kids in bed despite much stalling! I was full scale finished. Everything aching, especially my traitor back, and feeling like I hadn’t slept in a week. Misery courtesy of fibro, CFS, a bad back, night shift, and motherhood!

I started to get annoyed at myself for not handling my day well. It wasn’t until my sister-in-law pointed out that I accomplished a whole lot more than I felt like I had. The night at work may have been very long and exhausting, but I accomplished quite a bit and had a full patient assignment. I just got a promotion and have been actually keeping up well! I also made it through report without dozing off mid-sentence. That definitely feels like winning. I picked my daughter up from the sitter across town after working 13 hours and didn’t feel so tired that I was essentially driving impaired. Can I get a woo hoo?

I got a short nap in and then functioned mostly like any other mom in the world would, despite my health issues. I got things accomplished, answered work emails, and snuggled with the tiny humans. Not too shabby! I was tired but still helped build a racetrack and braided my daughter’s hair for bed. We made it through playing in the front yard, allergy medicine for the small ones, and a few temper tantrums.

These are all things that healthy people take for granted and we have to work much harder for. The greatest thing about us is that we are fighters! We’re tough, and make things happen. Some days I struggle to get dressed but I do eventually. We have to think things through to save energy. We work so much harder at things than healthy people do but we just keep going. That is pretty freaking amazing!

To my fellow fibromites, know this. You are incredible! You are brave, you are strong, you are proof that people can do anything. Every single day life for us is difficult but we keep going. That is awesome. You are awesome. We are awesome. Let’s not forget that!

Special Edition Fibro Fighterz Hoodies Available!

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I am pleased to announce that Fibro Fighterz is doing a limited edition run of these awesome “I’m A Fighter” hoodies! We’ve been surveying our members via Twitter and Facebook, and many of you told us loud and clear that you would like to see Fibro Fighterz hoodies, so here they are! We are doing a very limited run on them though! There are only 75 available! Proceeds benefit the “Kicking Esophageal Cancer In The Gut” IndieGogo campaign! 

SNAG YOUR HOODIE HERE!

“If you can do it, then I can do it!”

As I’m waddling my way from the shuttle bus into my hotel, I am greeted by a kind, friendly person. A stranger to me, and far removed from my small world, but we connected last Thursday when I arrived for a conference for work. I’m over a thousand miles from home; a small-town woman, definitely out of place in such a large east coast city. This gentle man is just that, a gentleman. Mr. Journey Ambassador I will call him, as it’s his job title, but he is so much more. His job is to welcome and care for the guests, but his personal touch makes you feel like one of the family.

Now for the moment that has truly humbled me. (It blindsided me in it’s simplicity, but it rings truth. Not because it was pointed towards me, but because I use this strategy to get me through the days I want to hide under the covers.)

After asking me how I’m doing and if there’s anything he can get for me, he says “You know, I’ve been thinking, if you can do it, then I can do it.” I had to take a step back. (ME?!?! You mean ME!?!?) We’ve chatted every day about life and our struggles since I’ve been staying here so he knows of my fibromyalgia, tarsal tunnel, and the fact that I rolled my left ankle yesterday.

I giggled a bit and smiled, “Ya know, that’s how I get through days like today.” Then I explained that the people that keep me fighting are those that can’t use their legs at all, or worse, don’t have means of mobility, that still get out there and live.

So, my good in my day of struggle is knowing that someone out there is inspired by little ‘ole me.

I share this so that you will remember that your struggles do not go unnoticed by all. You are an inspiration to someone. If I can inspire someone, so can you!