Yippee, YooHoo, YAY 🙂 wondering why I am so happy? Well, after 4 whole months, I was able to tie a saree today, YUP a seemingly simple task w/o my arms hurting and w/o feeling like I am actually lifting 100 lbs.
A while back, around June 2013, I had freaked out about repeatedly not being able to do simple tasks, tasks that I had taken for granted like tying a saree, preparing a couple of dishes w/o forgetting the ingredients/or even what I was doing. My Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT) had suggested that I write reasonable and achievable short term goals (>=6 months) and realistic long term goals and break them up into small(er) steps so that I can take a stab at it – One Task….At A Time.
My short term goals went something along these lines (status in italics):
- Work on improving resistance in my back and legs – working to follow a walking routine twice daily
- Write a blog post every week – almost able to do it except when i was down with fever
- Bake 1 dish every week – same as above except during when I was down with fever
- Cook an entire meal w/o feeling overwhelmed/confused/disoriented and increase the frequency – same as above, had a few snafu’s but with good outcomes (will post my absent-minded cake recipe soon)
- Tie saree w/o hurting – did it today
- Sign up for Tai-Chi or yoga class – on hold as i need to find a teacher who has experience working with folks in pain
- Revise/Prep for PMP exam – exam on October 30, 2013 – WIP
- Stop Madhavi, my cook by end of September/mid october 2013 – DONE, first thing i did was to stop her as soon as I quit work 🙂
- Start driving again – on hold
Yes, there are ok days, not-so-ok days and absolutely crappy days but now, by taking each day as it comes, I am building up my resistance slowly and hopefully steadily. Most importantly, I am able to exercise self-compassion even when i am on the brink on going into a blame spiral – i deliberately pause and remember to BE HERE, BE HERE RIGHT NOW, be thankful for my blessings and be hopeful, however tough the going is.
Did I tie my saree perfectly today? No, not at all but I have been wearing a saree long enough and i know a couple of tricks 🙂 but did I feel good, did i feel like I was kicking Fibro in its rear – YOU BET!!
I now celebrate my small victories and look defeat in its face by regrouping and trying again and again and again.
Here’s to small victories!
Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later, win a little more ~ Louis L’Amour
Featured image from http://wanentrepreneur.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Goals1.jpg