Another New Year…

I’m sitting here thinking about what 2013 will be like & I can’t shake off the feelings of anxiety that come with it. I know, I know, I over analyze everything & bring this all upon myself. However, I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way. Especially, if you’re a chronic pain sufferer.

I never make resolutions for the new year. Why you ask? That’s just plain & simple. It’s easier said than done & why set myself up to fail? My existence now is based on failures. Simple & ugly failures like not being a social butterfly, not being able to go outside when it’s bitter cold, even though we NEED to go out to get groceries. The list goes on & on. A lot of people don’t realize but my greatest effort in the day is just taking a shower.

I’ve come to realize that resolutions don’t mean a darn thing. Why just because a new year has started that we feel we must improve ourselves? Why can’t we all just work at something everyday, or be a decent human being? A simple act of kindness goes a long way. Hold a door open for someone, smile at someone as you walk by & by all means don’t make accusing faces at someone with a handicapped parking sticker. That one really bothers me… You don’t know what I go through, you don’t know how I feel. Yes, I may LOOK normal, but inside my body is reeling.

As you can tell, I’m bitter. I’m frustrated. I’m mad. Because, I know no matter how hard I may try to improve myself, my pain & mental status will ruin it all for me. I’m going into my 7th year w/ chronic pain & my 4th year of all day everyday agony. When I look back & see all that I’ve gone through, it makes me cry. I haven’t stopped this demon from invading me. I haven’t even come anywhere close to having the life I said I’d have 7 years ago. “A manageable condition that would sometime knock me down, but I would fight through it.” YEAH RIGHT! Little did I know then, that this horrible headaches would multiply & bring in new friends to ruin my life.

All I can do now is look on the bright side. I’ve suffered A LOT, but you know what?! No matter how much I complain, vent or whine, I’m still going to wake up tomorrow feeling the same. If I’m lucky I won’t feel worse than I am now. I just have to put on my warrior paint & fight to survive each & everyday that comes at me. Because that is what I am & will always be…

A chronic pain demon fighter!

Best wishes to all of you in the new year! May we all keep fighting & never ever loose HOPE!

K8 =]

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2 comments

  1. hi, i am a fellow Fibro sufferer. it made me retire early from my carreer that i was so in love with: mecial lab technology. i am now a reiki master with no paying clientelle. but, that is okay. may I send you some free of charge reiki?? Reiki is love and I want you to love yourself. Have you ever heard of louise Hay? She write beautiful (quick read) books on how to love yourself. this is mrygoal this year. no matter that there are dishes in the sink, stuff on the floor that i cannot bend down and pick up, extra pounds on my body, i am gonna love myself anf cherish what i have. I Laurie Harran Scalzo, i FOLLOW YOU FACEBOOK PAGE. lET ME KNOW IF i CAN SEND YOU SOME HEALING REIKI TONIGHT AT 8PM. sORRY FOR THE TYPOS AND CAPS, I AM NOT YELLING AT you, MY FINGERS ARE “BUZZING’ AND i do nor have a lot of control over them right now. xxoo, you are doing such a service with this webpage and you have had an positive impact on my life and how I feel about myuself, thank you so much! i do not think you know how wonderful you really are. And, I am sorry for your pain, I “get it”. As I saidm reiki no charge, I want to give back to you what you have given to me

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