Sick child = Tired Mom

Anyone who is a parent has lived through the sleepless nights of a sick child.  You may go to sleep but there is some special sensor that goes on when from the other room comes the soft cry “mom”.

The week after Thanksgiving weekend our 12 year old daughter came down with a virus.

My husband works third shift so we play tag-team parenting when she is home now that she is older.  He can sleep during the day and if she needs him she will wake him up. He always has a chance to catch up on his sleep once I get home before he goes to work.

My day however begins at 6 a.m. and ends before 9 p.m. ~ if I am lucky.

Her virus included sore throat, uncontrollable cough, high temp, chills and nausea.  She was up off and on all night long for three nights in a row.  Mom sense kicked in and I slept very light; she would either say “mom” or start to come out of her room and I was awake.  It would be time for the next round of medication, cough drops, cool wash cloth for her forehead and laying down with her till she was almost out.  That was a sure sign my pre-teen was sick.  She wanted Mom to stay with her.

I kept thinking this could be one of the last times that she really needs me and I should be completely there for her not wishing how much I was in bed sleeping.

This is where Fibro guilt and Fibro reality sinks in ~ again.

I live every day trying not to let Fibro ruin my parenting.  I still feel so bad about what I was thinking those three nights.  Every time I woke up with her she would apologize. ”I’m sorry mom.. you need sleep”, ”that’s OK hun”, “I love you” and I would remind her “that is what Mommies do for their kids”.  Even as I said it ~ I was thinking ~ I just want to be in bed, I am so tired.

I began to dread the calls from her.  I would sit with her just praying she would be able to sleep.  Hands cupping my face over my eyes. Headache pounding.

I love my daughter more than anything in the world.  I really dislike the fact that she is growing up so fast and doesn’t need me as much any more.

However ~ Reality is my body needs routine.  It is the rare Fibromite that figures out how to sleep thru the night.  I am one of the Lucky ones.  I found the “magic” combination of prescribed meds, sleep hygiene, supplements and over the counter sleep aids to help me sleep if I am lucky every night.  However, even when sleeping thru the night (as much as 9 hours) I am never rested.

By the end of the fourth day; with the exception of the cough she was back to her normal self.

Me?  ~ I came home from work early that day – just to end up lying on the couch.   Completly toast.  I was having problems staying awake.  Yawning all day long at work.  Fog had taken over and concentration was impossible.  The wonderful trigger points were turning into very large balls under my skin. Pain everywhere.

She was a terrible sleeper until she was the age of two.  I never had any sleep.  I wonder how in the heck I would have ever survived had the Fibro taken over my body when she was a baby.

How do mom’s or dad of young children that have Fibro manage?

I think that I am learning lessons every day in my life from others and from myself thanks to Fibro.

What would my lesson be this time?

I am a very busy full time working wife and mom that is barely managing to get through anything in my life.  My to do’s at my job are piling up.  I struggle to get my housework, grocery shopping, girl scouts, support pages, etc. completed.  Guilt always surrounds my thoughts.

So?  My lesson?

I will cherish every sick night I can comfort my daughter.

That no matter how much is or is not getting done or how I feel I am doing my very best.

The reward; Spending time with my daughter.   I have seen how she is with myself and others when they are sick ~ She is a very caring person.  I hope she sees a Mom that tries to do her best at everything without giving up and a Mom that isn’t perfect, that is sick and sometimes has to learn her limits.

I am a Fibro Warrior ~ Living Life

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2 comments

  1. Your words spoke directly to what the last month has been like in my house. And it’s not over yet…. I’m a mother of 5 and I’m blessed to have a husband that’s loving and dedicated to supporting my efforts to stay at home. I’ve worked full-time, part-time, from home.. you name it. And it’s ALL extremely difficult to manage. Before Fibro, I was superwoman. Everything was always in its place, I chaperoned field trips (no question about it), made complete dinners every night (except for our Friday night pizza), attended religious service 3 -4 times a week with kids in tow.
    It’s times like THESE, when everyone in the house is struggling with illness, that I can’t help but miss the “old me.” In the last month, my 10 year old had a severe sinus infection, my 18 month old jumped out of a kitchen chair and hit her head, requiring a late night trip to the ER, a stomach virus worked its way through the entire house, triggering pain level 10 migraines in my 12 year old daughter (Juvenile diabetic and asthmatic), my 10 year old son and my husband. My daughter’s migraine required a trip to the ER and ambulatory transport to our local children’s hospital b/c they couldn’t get the pain under control and her pulse rate was dangerously high. Finally thought that I was getting everyone better when my 3 year old started running a fever again this week. I took him and my 18 month old daughter to the pediatrician to find that HE has the flu and SHE has pneumonia! I’ve been living on almost NO sleep (4 hours per night is a good night) in trying to provide care and keep up with the kids’ homework and dinner and daily chores. And I’ve been dealing with unbelievable pain. I was balled up in a plastic chair at the children’s hospital, trying to get comfortable, almost in tears b/c of the pain I was in… but putting on a brave face. It’s SO hard to give 100% when you feel like you’re really only operating at 60% to begin with. 🙂 But I want you to know that your viewpoint is encouraging and that you aren’t alone. Some days are so difficult.. and no one really understands. But the loving kindness that you see in your daughter is a direct result of your selfless devotion and dedication to your family. Hats of to you. Hang in there my friend!

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