Star light… Star bright

Star light… Star bright

Originally Posted on April 19, 2011 by swansonmjs

To understand this .. you need to have an image in your mind.

I am writing this  – dressed in sweatpants, tshirt – feet up – sitting in my big comfy chair – all lights off – all blinds shut – tv on so quiet – typing away on my laptop at 2:30 in the afternoon. Why?

I am so mad.  I let this **** fibro thing win today.  I left work at noon today. I could not take another minute – after 3 meltdowns – it was time to come home.

I am on day 3 of a flare up. This is the worst one I have experienced so far. I have not slept well since Friday night. The pain is tremendous. I am not sure that I have any spot on my body right now that I can say is pain free. I have a icy hot patch on my side – an ice pack on my back. I called the Doctor at 8:00 a.m. and again at Noon. I still have not heard back any reply.

I have met the most supportive wonderful people on Healingwell.com and on Pro-Health. These people understand – they were online having the same issues as I was at Midnight last night.  I  have heard some wonderful advice from them. I plan on trying a few of the suggestions. Many of my new contacts have not worked for years. They are not able to do early half the things that I can accomplish in a day.

I should not be “whining” – but rather – “celebrating” the fact that I can still be so active and continue to work. But here I am – feeling guilty that I could not make it another 3 hours of work.  That – here I sit – when I can see that the house needs to be vaccumed, dusted, dishes (put away) – why am I not fixing supper – instead – I sit here – researching fibro, playing frontierville on fb, and waiting impatiently for the phone to ring for some medical relief of some kind.

I will soon get my swimsuit and head to the local pool. That is me grasping at the last straw (hoping)- swimming will help, the hot tub will relax the muscles.

So as I go to bed tonight; I say – Star light, Star bright – first start I see tonight; I wish I may – I wish I might – have some restful sleep tonight.

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