Secondary Survivors; Time to Wake Up

I’ve been told I’m lazy. So I suppose that means I don’t give a crap, never try in the least and think only of my own needs. I’ve been told I don’t “look” sick. So I suppose that means I shouldn’t be allowed to wear make-up, get the occasional hug of support, park near a handicapped zone, and dawn a smile when something nice happens for me. I’ve been told this is all in my head. So I suppose that means I asked to feel this way. I isolated myself, I stole away many dreams I had, and the depression was the “cause” of it. I’ve been told that if I eat right and work-out that it will miraculously cure me. So I suppose you must have the miraculous cure for the catch 22 that comes with fibro and trying to work-out despite the pain, being told that all you do is make excuses for not being active. As if not being able to do simple things like keep up after my Son was something I aimed to achieve in life.

Absolutely not! The last thing someone with fibro does is ask to be a part of this thorny road of life. That’s actually the best way I can put it into an analogy…a road of thorns. Some people have really thick leather soles, they don’t even feel the thorns, they could walk all day down this road. However some soles are weaker and more run down than others. Those people tend to feel a thorn poke through from time to time disrupting the path and staining the trail of life. Then there are those who’s soles are so worn thin they don’t just feel the thorns, they’ve learned to start walking with their heads down constantly focused on the hit and miss. Dodging thorns, stepping on many and falling on a few in the process of just GETTING there. THAT my friends…is fibromyalgia at it’s core. So when someone tells you you’re lazy, don’t look sick, need to relax cause it’s all in your head or whatever the reason…don’t even respond, you can’t change how the comment made you feel regardless, It’s been said. Instead do as the great Maya Angelou would do…when someone is pinning your illness against you, walk away. You don’t have to be a part of that ugliness. What’s worse is that it’s not so much the comments that hurt, it’s having to explain myself, you telling me you get it, and then a day later we’re back to square one. The struggle to wake people up out of their ignorance in regards to their loved one’s being in pain shouldn’t be a struggle at all. If you are a loved one of someone with fibro help pick up some of that slack. Sweep away the thorns, don’t continue to water them so they’ll grow larger.

Love & Support, Haullie Volker

Please visit Haullie at ‘Voices of Fibromyalgia’ on Facebook 🙂


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