Fibro Mom’s Need Support

I honestly never imagined the hard work that it takes to raise a child with fibromyalgia. Every single day is ten times harder now, ten times more painful for me every day. But I don’t harbor regrets. If I had it to do over again I would get pregnant and I would have my Son…again, he’s my life. The truth is though, it’s tough work! As a fibro mommy I tend to find the emotional aspect of raising a child just as hard if not harder than physically raising a child. There are the little things, 3 square meals a day, dressing, bathing, entertaining, going for walks, feeding, ect, but there’s also the tantrums, the screaming, the telling me “no” constantly, hitting me, kicking me, throwing things at me, destroying the house…all these things emotionally ware on me day in and day out and the one thing I’ve learned is that we need a break!

I personally don’t have a support system at home where I can hand my kid over to a relative to watch him so my muscles and bones can have a break. A lot of people don’t have that one person to say “hey I’ll take him off your hands for a day.” That has got to be the hardest. My husband works constantly and he’s too tired to pick up the load but I dream of that day when someone offers to take my Son just for a day. If anything it would be good for him. But his grandparents and Aunts and Uncles either live too far away or show no interest which makes me sad. Sad that I can’t just get a break and sad that no one wants to spend quality one on one family time with my son. Whatever happened to people picking up the slack and helping out a relative? Everyone has this fend for yourself, it’s not my problem attitude and I’m just sick of it because as sick as I am…I do OFFER to help someone if they are in need. Especially if they have a child. I would go out of my way on the worst day ever than to let someone not be able to complete a task or get the rest they need  (i.e. go to work).

As a fibro mom, my work never ends. It is 24 hours a day 7 days a week and if I’m lucky he’ll take a nap once a day. I love my Son to pieces, there’s nothing wrong with him, it’s not his fault Mommy is tired. Mommy just cannot keep up sometimes. I may have been un-lucky in my ventures to get someone in my family to reach out and give me a day off…but hey at least there’s a good lesson from it…we do need that support so if you have someone who can help out don’t be afraid to ask even if you think they will say no, keep asking. Don’t feel ashamed to ask for help. Besides, people who aren’t sick pin their kids off on other people all the time. All we’re asking for is a little support, we’re not asking to pin our kids on other people; we’re asking for help so that we can be the BEST parent that we can be at ALL times.

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4 comments

  1. Being very direct in your request to take your child on a certain date at a certain time often works well. Also our local library has lots of events for the little ones, my son, a full time dad used this very often, good break for both, nice walk there too. This also could lead to friendships and sharing of child play dates…. As a very long time fibro mom please find a way to meed your NEED for down time… Also Dad MUST include time for baby – all 3 of you NEED this… Again must be dealt with directly, no suggestion, no hinting, no blaming, just direct talk… Good luck with this hun…. It will make everyone’s life better… love your lil one and love your hunny – hard not to get some love back…..

    1. Thanks for all of the support and encouragement. I do completely agree as well about the man of the house helping out. It’s not that I can’t go to for him for help it’s just that he helps already so much as it is by bringing home the bacon plus he helps me clean and cook food and take care of the kid. But I think it also takes a balance of both parents getting the rest. He also can’t be expected to help me if he can’t help himself too so he’s also in the same predicament. I think when it all comes down to it, there are places to take your kid there are ways to get a break…but it’s about what I want. I WANT it to be family. I want family to take an active interest and stop favoring all the other grandkids but then never give my son the day or time that’s why I think not only would it be good for me but my #1 overall goal is to actually have him get that special one on one time and he never gets that so I feel like no one really cares. I have dropped major hints lol I’ve even strait out asked for help. I pleaded on facebook of all places to get family to take him just for a few hours. It’s like come on get up off your lazy behinds and help out the family. I’d drop everything in a heartbeat if someone needed me. There’s just no give and take in family relationships anymore for the most part. The way we grew up is not how it’s done anymore. It just makes me sad, it’s like one day lol it’s not a lot to sacrifice especially for those you love. If I knew I had a relative or friend who was majorly sick every day and had a 3 year old with erratic outbursts and hitting habits who screams in their ear causing headaches and I thought wow that person looks worn out…I’d offer to help for a day heck even if it’s just taking the kid to get some ice cream, you’d be amazed how that little 30 minute break means everything. I just want to be the best Mom and I can’t be the best Mom if I can’t FEEL like the best Mom. ❤

  2. yes I brought up a very very active boy (started walking at 9months, running by 1 year). It was never stoppojg from 7am to 11pm, as he never slept, was never ever tired. By 11pm, my body was just a rock hard, painful thing. worst part was getting upto 9 times every night, as he needed cuddle, dummy, milk etc. I had no help from anyone. my husband worked long hours and I worked in a very responsible position 9-6, some times on call throught the nights and weekends. I still sont know how I have survived this. Just the love for my son push me forward. No one will ever understand the physical &mental hardship we have to endure every single day

  3. Hi. I just want you to know that you are not alone. I’m a mom with fibro and I have twins. They are almost 3 now, and I also have a teenage daughter. I’m not gonna lie . . . . It is hard. Prioritize and do what you can, when you can. Feel free to reach out if you need a friend. : )

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