I am a 43 year old wife, mom, full-time employee, Girl Scout leader and a Fibromite.
I have began blogging since March 2011.
Why did I decide to blog? I have so many thoughts going through my head and I love to write. So here is my chance to say what is on my mind, how I feel, how I am dealing or not dealing with life, my experiences with fibromyalgia and the rollercoaster it has become …. I hope to start enjoying the ride.(originally posted 03/09/2011)
I would like to take you on the journey from the beginning;
This is my Life ~ Surviving with Fibromyalgia.
So the story should start at the beginning.. but it would be too much to tell. A good place tho is to say that like most “Women/”Mom’s”.. I have spent my life taking care of others. I started at the age of 5 taking care of my Sister & have never stopped taking care of others, doing what they wanted to not cause waves, etc. I stress easily – more like anxiety than anything. November – 2009 – my estranged Mother-In-Law passed away leaving us an experience that I do not wish on anyone. Stress, Physical strain and no sleep – aggravated my already sensitive body.
The year of 2010 consisted of what most Fibro patients will tell you.
Tests, Tests, Tests (and the occasional it is all in your head). I finally decided to go to a Doctor that had no idea about my previous health history. I wanted a fresh perspective and luckily that is what I got. This very young Doctor was signing me up to rule out everything that she could – I am grateful for that.
Finally, in the beginning of December – the diagnosis was made that I had Fibromyalgia. At least now – I could research – find some information, what could I do to help make this better? I had already been seeing a Counselor to work on the emotional problems. But at least now all of these symptoms made sense to me. This is why I had all of the following: Headaches, Exhaustion, Insomnia, Chronic muscle pain, Stiffness, Fevers, Emotional rollercoasters, Anxious and Depressed, Jaw tenderness, Difficulty remembering, concentrating (Fibro Fog), Increase in urinary urgency, and feeling of swelling (without actual swelling).
I didn’t really deal with it on an emotional level. I dealt with it completely on a cognitive level.
Ok.. my approach was now I have this now~research it to death. Learn everything. Talk to everyone who has had it or knows someone who does.
It was several weeks later at work when it finally hit me – this sucks – this is what I am going to have to struggle with on a daily basis for the rest of my life. I went to call my Parent’s (I have never used speed dial for their number)- the number was gone.
Now, I know that everyone forgets things… but it hit me .. I couldn’t remember their number. I freaked out.
The crying was unstoppable. It was the third thing that week that I could not recall. Something that I had memorized. It has been pointed out to my by my Counselor that had I been thinking – I could have looked it up by speed dial on my phone.
But I wasn’t thinking – I was emotionally a mess and I went home for the day crying. My 10 year old – asked me “Do you have the kind of memory when people forget who their kids are?”
That was too much – It was time to figure out how to use both emotional and cognitive thinking in a joint rational way… Oh this should be easy.
(originally posted 03/11/2010)